I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done. - Buddha

I recently saw on my Facebook page that my "Notes" showed up again. Some of them were very old and it was interesting to see the thoughts I had deemed important enough to share with the world of Facebook; specifically one post about the things I want to accomplish in my life. I wrote this back in 2009 and I was pleasantly surprised at how many things I have already completed (or semi-completed) from this list in the 4.5 years since I wrote it. I thought I would share this list and just check off or comment on certain things that I am proud of for accomplishing.


Things I Want To Accomplish In My Life (January 8, 2009)

- Travel EVERYWHERE (honestly, too many places I want to go to put them all on this list)
** Though I have not traveled everywhere, I have added and checked off quite a few places on my list. America too many times to count, Mexico 2005 and 2011, Italy and Austria 2006 (which I plan to revisit as my stay was too short!), many places in China 2012/13, Vietnam 2013, and I'll be on my way to Thailand shortly with my lovely sister!

- Learn to play guitar - working on this!
* Ok, not working on this currently, but still a dream of mine. Maybe I will take the time to actually do this one day!

- Take dance lessons
** While here in China I learned how to waltz, but I would still like to take a dance class of some sort when I'm back in Canada

- Write a book
* Still a dream of mine.. I would love to write a novel and/or children's books. I have some ideas, but may be a while yet until I have the time and courage to sit down and write something. At least I'm writing with this blog, right?

- Get a tattoo
** Currently have 3 small tattoos and plans for at least 2 more... And I thought I would only get one!

- Laugh more often
** I think I've done a good job of this! My students all tell me I'm so humourous and like a comedian :)

- Finish school with relatively good marks
** Honours baby!

- Go to teacher’s college in Australia?
** Australia would have been cool, but I plan to just travel there now. I'll be starting at UOIT in August and couldn't be happier :)

- Get in better shape—start running again
** I did start running again and I was doing some Jillian Michaels videos too for a bit there. I have no doubt I'll keep this up back in Aurora.

- Climb the entire CN Tower
* Any takers to do this with? Still haven't done it.

- Snowboard at Whistler/Blackcomb, Tremblant, Banff, and other places all over Canada, as well as abroad (and not just the US)
* Since Trevor is moving to Edmonton so soon, I have no doubt I will be making a trek over to Banff sometime in the near future. Wooo!

- Cook a turkey dinner / real meal all on my own
* I'll work on this..

- Donate blood
* Haven't been able to do this because I keep getting tattoos and piercings and you can't donate if you've done this 6 months before. Maybe when I move home before I get a new tat?

- Knit a sweater/hat
* I make no promises on this one.. I'm very good at starting this and not finishing haha

- Road trip somewhere far away
* Again, with Trevor moving to Alberta this seems like the perfect chance to check this off..

- Eat healthier
* Haha I'll try, but I'm going to be stuffing my face with all the delicious things I have missed since moving to China.

- Paint my room
** Done! Although I can't take the credit for this, I thank my Uncle Larry for all the hard work in completing my beautiful red room :)

- Get a job working with kids - teacher hopefully
** Also done! I successfully became a teacher for 8 months to 1300+ students and I see a bright future ahead of working with kids!

- Save money
* Didn't really do this... traveling is a good way to not save money, but earn experience instead :)

- Plant a garden
* When I have my own house this will be a little easier

- Bungee jump or sky dive
* Should have done this in Macau off the Macau Tower, but I have no doubt I will do this someday.. Maybe for my 25th birthday!

- Buy a car
** Well I didn't buy one, but I again have my Uncle Larry to thank for the little green monster last summer.. and I'll be getting one shortly for the commute to Oshawa for school.

- Learn a new language (sign language?)
* I've learned bits and pieces of Chinese, Spanish, French, and Japanese, but I would love to be relatively fluent in something other than just English (or at least able to hold a better conversation than now). Sign language and Spanish are my top choices currently.

- Ride a motorcycle
** I've been a passenger on a motorcycle and rode a moto/scooter on my own. Success!

- Start a family
* Not planning to check this off any time soon, but one day!

- Bake a cake from scratch
* I will do this in the summer. Promise.

- Own a cottage
* Again, one day when I'm older I hope!

Dream big :)

I have many things to add to this, but my goals have mostly stayed the same over the years. I know I have changed considerably since writing that, yet I can see that I am consistent in what I want in life and this is kind of uplifting to me. Sometimes I feel lost and only look at what has yet to be done rather than appreciating the accomplishments I have already triumphed in. I haven't been afraid to follow my dreams though - even if it meant chasing them across the world. I'm not always the quickest to achieve my goal, but I know that I work hard and I am persistent and determined to get where I want. My students this week have reminded me what it means to be looking at your future without considering your long, but rewarding past; I can sit back and appreciate what I have done, what I am doing, and what I have yet to do.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu

I’m not going to lie, I have been feeling a great deal of mixed emotions lately and I feel like I'm constantly on the edge of crying. I've told some of my students that I'm leaving and they are so concerned and upset with it. One of my favourites from my Monday classes looked like he was a bit teary-eyed and it honestly caught me so off guard. Alethea has been telling me about all the reactions of her students with cards and tears and kind words, but for some reason I feel like my students are a little shyer and I wasn't sure what kind of reaction to expect from them. Alex was the first to know and the look on her face just broke my heart. But I'm so torn because of course I miss my family and friends and my boyfriend and I'm beyond excited to start Teacher's College. When I think of Jays games, drinks at Shoeless, girls nights, Canada Day celebrations and just my soft bed in my bedroom my heart aches to be home. The song "Butterfly Kisses" came on my iPod on the bus and I couldn't help but tear up and miss my family. My friend Laura Dawson sent me an article a while back about how living abroad will play with your feeling of home and you will constantly be missing the other place – I guess a sort of grass is greener kind of yearning for the other place. I've only been living here for 8 months and my ability to speak Chinese (or lack thereof) has definitely limited how close I've gotten to the people here, but I have made it my home. The simplest things are setting me off feeling nostalgic for things I haven't even left yet.

I'm also feeling really nervous for a lot of things.. This year I feel like I’ve been pretty lazy compared to my past lifestyle of full-time university, part-time job and active volunteering. Traveling is a completely different kind of thought process and I'm nervous that I'm not going to be ready to jump back into that life. This might sound stupid, but I'm also nervous about my social skills. I have had to censor myself with topics appropriate for discussion with my students and coworkers so apart from Alethea I have not really talked about anything with real depth in a while. Most of my conversations consist of where I'm from, what I'm doing here, what music/movies/etc do I like and I haven't kept up with a lot of things going on at home... So if I'm a bit rusty, my apologies!

I am letting go of who I am and who I was and I am going to let things fall as they may. Things are fantastic and the fact that I have such amazing things to miss makes me so grateful. A.A. Milne wrote a quote in Winnie the Pooh that I think sums this feeling up nicely: “how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”. Now I have countless places full of things that are hard to say goodbye to. In the meantime, I’m keeping my head up for the next week through my last classes and counting down only 10 days until my parents and sister come!

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving. – Lao Tzu

This post will focus mainly on my last couple trips traveling around and how incredible it was to just arrive somewhere and then figure out what to do.

Vietnam

Ho Chi Minh City was unreal. My hostel was great with clean rooms, cheap breakfast, and really helpful staff, and it was close to a lot of the places that I wanted to go. I was in a mixed room and ended up being the only girl with 8 other boys. It wasn’t that bad though and the people I met were really awesome; Ryan and Jeremy from Edmonton (who will give me some good tips for when I go there to visit Trevor), Micah from the UK, Owen from the Netherlands, and 4 other guys from London but I didn’t end up catching their names. The weather network said it’s rainy season, but it just rained for about an hour every day and then was blue skies and sunshine for the rest of the day.

Day 1

The first day there I rented a moto and rode around the city. I was totally fine, but I would not recommend driving a moto around Ho Chi Minh City if you are not a practiced driver. I have heard a ton of battle stories – almost every person I’ve talked to has had an accident or some sort of horror story. I am a very defensive driver and I don’t tend to drive fast or anything so I had a fantastic day and loved driving around – seriously, what a rush!

Day 2

The next day I did a half day tour to the Cu Chi Tunnels. We stopped off at an art store on the way where people disabled by the effects of Agent Orange and I had a delicious bun (they love the laughing cow cheese here with meat and vegetables) and mango smoothie. It was a really interesting day seeing where the soldiers were during the war, although it was very ‘touristy’ and our tour guide wanted to rush through things so that wasn’t the greatest. Most of the relics were not original as obviously you can’t have hidden traps and mines leftover, but I still got to climb inside a real tunnel – it was pitch black, really small and extremely dirty, and I can’t imagine how people stayed in there for an extended amount of time. I had the opportunity to shoot a gun for the first time as well and I chose an AK47 – what a thrill! We saw a video there too that was extremely hard to understand, but the main idea I got from it was how terrible Americans are; understandably, there is some serious animosity towards the United States and until recently, Americans were not allowed into Vietnam. After a really hot and dirty time at the tunnels I showered and relaxed in the air conditioning for a little before heading out for a walk and some street food.

Day 3

Even though I was so close to a ton of things around the city, I decided to sign up for a day tour because I am fantastic at getting lost and it was so cheap and easy. I do not regret my decision because I had a great tour group! There were only 6 of us and we ended up having 2 tour guides for the day. I met three girls from the Philippines; Bles and her two daughters Kelly and Krystel. Krystel is close to my age and went to school to be a chef and recently completed a year-long internship in New York – so cool! They were so nice and took me under their wing for the day and it was so nice to just laugh and chat with some girls after talking mostly to guys for the last couple days. I also met two guys from Thailand; Tum and Coffee. They were hilarious and I could hear Tum’s laugh all day. Our tour guide was really funny and knowledgeable and it was awesome to have such a small group to learn with. My favourite stop of the day was to the War Museum; it was an immensely moving and powerful monument to the Vietnam War and was definitely a worthwhile visit. A bunch of us went out for roti and walked around the markets and Ryan and Jeremy showed off their bargaining skills buying more ties that they didn’t need haha!

Day 4

Bright and early we headed to the Mekong Delta taking a 2 hour bus there; what an incredibly relaxing day and fantastic way to unwind. I spent the day hanging out with two girls; Amalia from America who has been living and teaching in Korea (Gangnam) and Gillian from Scotland. We took a boat ride along the river and I found a hammock in the back of it that no one was interested in and it was so lovely and peaceful. We had lunch at an island of pork, egg and vegetables and then went to a gorgeous island where they make coconut candies and keep bees. After holding a giant snake, we took a short trip in some smaller boats down the river to see some local folk singers. Overall it was a gorgeous day and the perfect end to my trip.

Yangshuo and Guilin

I actually made it onto the night train this time! I stood and bothered a man until he got mad at me and then he passed me on to a girl who helped me find my little bed. I slept soundly until about 530-6ish and arrived in Guilin at 6:30am, then hopped on a bus to Yangshuo (side note: it was good to know I was on the right track, but having at least 10 people yelling at me to take their bus to Yangshuo that early was a little crazy haha) and arrived there about 8am. Sam came to pick me up on his moto and took me back to Fun Sam’s B&B that he runs with his parents.

Day 1 - Yangshuo 

I rented a bike from Sam and spent the day trekking around and admiring the area. The mountains are unlike anything that I’ve ever seen before and I was content to just ride around and take in everything around me. I ate some different food at the side of the road including fish on a stick, corn, cucumber, and this egg patty type thing, and shared a cute moment with 3 women eating watermelon with them even though we couldn't talk to each other. Then I made my way over to the shopping area on West Street and bought some souvenirs and dresses, and also just walked around the river where it was gorgeous. I was pretty tired after the night train so I had a nap and then went back to West Street to see the market at night. There were a million more people there and the feeling is just completely different than in the daylight. I went to the Kissing Fish Spa there where you put your feet in a tank of fish and they sit there and “kiss” your fish clean—an interesting and very ticklish experience! 

Day 2

I started my day off with a delicious breakfast of toast, eggs and melon made by Sam’s Dad and then headed off with my tour guide, Mo, for a bamboo raft down the Yulong River. This was probably one of my favourite things in Yangshuo and had me smiling and feeling so relaxed. Mo speaks English very well unlike all of the other raft guides that we met that day and I was so grateful for that. He was so funny and told me about his 11-year-old son and dreams to open up a hostel in a more secluded area on the Yulong. He pointed out different mountains and told me about their history and what things they look like (including a bunny, frog, Buddha, and thumb) and wasn’t afraid to question what I said in English so he could learn more. After the tour, my bike was waiting for me at the end so I rode over to the Moon Hill. Sam told me this wasn’t worth it because it’s just a mountain, but I’m so glad that I decided to go here because the view was unbelievable. It took me about 45 mins overall and by the end of it I was hot, sweaty and exhausted so I made my way over to the Gold Water Cave to get out of the ridiculous heat. It was the perfect remedy for my tired body to enjoy a mud bath followed by hot springs. I’ve never seen stalagmites and stalactites before either and it was really cool to meander through the maze of underground tunnels. I opted to take a tuk tuk back to Sam’s and arrived just in time for Sam’s mom to make some dinner for us – dumplings, beef, chicken, pumpkin and some other interesting dishes (chicken feet and I think what might have been pig penis hahaha). I relaxed a little and cleaned up before heading back out for the Liu Sanjie outdoor light show. It was really cool to see them do some cool things on the river with lights, costumes, and folk music and I met some nice girls who want to be foreign teachers of Chinese as a second language. I came back and had beers with Sam and some of the new people around the B&B; Rob, Rob, Chris and Mangolin from the Netherlands. Busy, but amazing day.

Day 3

Woke up to a wonderful noodle breakfast compliments of Sam's mom again and decided to go back to West Street for one final souvenir stop. Then I took an express bus back to Guilin, which was one of the most unpleasant experiences as the window had bugs constantly crawling out of it. I had a couple hours to spare before my train so I went to see Elephant Trunk Hill. To be honest, it was just so-so and I wasn’t that impressed with the park it’s in. I love elephants so it was cute to see a park dedicated to them, but the price was not worth the experience in my opinion. I was exhausted after walking around for a good 2 hours and fell asleep pretty quickly on my night train. However, in my sleepy stupor I managed to misplace my camera and I’m pretty sure I left it on the train. Thus, no pictures to show for my breathtaking trip, but as they say here "the rice is cooked" and it is too late to do anything about this now. At least it happened at the end of my travels, and I am in a good place to buy things for an extremely low price!

Maybe it makes me a bad traveler, but I think I’m ready for my arrival back in Canada soon and I’m glad I have some more solid plans ahead of me. The traveling has been unbelievable and I’m going to deeply miss Asia once I’m back on the other side of the world.